There is a sense of unpredictability in like, I never know how my partner is going to react or kind of walking on eggshells all the time or being careful not to make my partner mad all the time.
Constant drama and jealousy. It becomes so normal sometimes that we don't even realize that we're attracting this constant drama, like complaining about stuff, saying yes when we want to say no, a lot of anger, jealousy, why this why that, constantly picking on each other. Those are all signs of drama.
Constant stress and anxiety. Studies show that if there is daily stress and anxiety for three months, that means that the relationship is in trouble and unless action is taken, nothing will change.
You cannot really cope on your own, you feel that your needs need to be met through your partner. People in healthy relationships were interviewed and it was found that a healthy relationship is when only 25% of your needs and your partner's needs are met through the other. So the other 75% need to be met with oneself and with other people.
Co-dependency . This is when you find that you're constantly trying to fix your partner. Like, helping your partner to get a job, helping your partner to find new friends, helping your partner to feel happy, and it's okay to support your partner, but it's not okay to do the job for them.
You feel that you're not free to be yourself . You kind of always want to put a facade of a nice person, in order not to upset your partner.
You feel constantly drained.
There is a lot of resentment . The reason is that you are saying yes too much. This means that boundary work is needed.
Gaslighting. This ties with unpredictability. So you kind of do unpredictable things to each other to scare them, to put them on their toes. Maybe it's a sign of attracting attention, not with a good intention of course. It keeps always the other partner on edge, on their toes, fearing that something bad will happen all the time, right.
There is constant criticism. Studies show that in healthy relationships, each criticism is balanced out with 5 compliments!
You feel that you're not free to do your own things, you're not free to pursue your own interests, and yes you are. A lot of people I see feel that they're not entitled to these things, which is absolutely not true. We are entitled to these things. We are entitled to be ourselves. We are entitled to live our full potential, actually. So if you're also feeling that you have to give up too much of yourself for the other, you're being a disservice to the relationship which isn't working anyway, and you're being a disservice to the world, the world needs you and needs your talents!
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